Marriage Means Business

Marriage, ladies and gentlemen, is a business partnership.

In the state of California, with limited exceptions, marriage means the following:

1) Anything you earn while you are married is half yours and half your spouse’s;

2) Anything you buy with those earnings (including houses, vehicles, etc.) while married is half yours and half your spouse’s, regardless of whose name title is in;

3) You are responsible for half of any debt your spouse incurs during your marriage, including credit cards taken out in their name and debt you might not even know exists until it’s too late; and

4) When you separate, if you make more than your ex, you could be writing a check to them every month, maybe for the rest of their life.

These rules apply to registered domestic partners in California too.

Most little girls in America dream of white weddings, myself included.  But when we dream of them we dream of the wedding day – of wedding dresses and bouquets, of cakes and who will be our Maid of Honor.  Few of us, if any, dream of life lived day in and day out with the same person for 40 or 50 years.  When we say we envision growing old with someone, we picture our wedding, then we picture ourselves as adorable 80 year olds, and we don’t really grasp what’s in-between.  How can we – that is the type of knowledge that only comes form actually being married.

Marriage is hard.  Marriage is work.  “Mawwage, is what bwings us togethah, tooday.”  Sorry, Princess Bride moment.

The point is, marriage often ends in divorce.  Maybe even one in every two marriages ends in divorce.  Those are not great odds.  In life, when you know you’ve only got a 50/50 shot, you tend to have a back up plan.  At the very least, you know what it will mean if you end up on the losing end.

It’s just good plain sense to know what marriage means, legally, in your state.  Know what your rights and obligations are.  Ask a local attorney what they think you should know prior to saying “I do.”  You do?  You do what?  You do agree that this person can have half of your hard-earned cash?  You do agree to write this person a check every month for the rest of their life?

You can always sign a prenup or a postnup to make sure that your marriage actually means what you think it means, what you want it to mean.  However you do it, find out what you do, before you say “I do.”